Sometimes people do stuff that’s really unacceptable. They can be mean and unkind, even if we did nothing to provoke it. But what’s really going on? Why are they being so mean? And what if it’s not the reason we thought, after all? Want to discover a life-changing mink eyelash extensions price technique that can set you free from that old pain, reclaiming your personal power, giving you back your choice?
Lcrox Sometimes people do mean stuff. Stuff that’s simply not OK. Yes, there’s a sliding scale to ‘unacceptable’, but it’s still not OK.
It’s our tendency to want to retaliate in some way – perhaps by behaving unkindly or even doing something nasty to them. We end up in a dance of mink eyelash extensions price and pain that quickly becomes our habitual way of dealing with that difficult person.
It’s easy to hold resentments and grudges and to allow those to taint our experience of relating with that person. We tell ourselves (or anyone else who will listen) stories about their behaviour, to try to make ourselves feel better. We can direct all sorts of painful emotions towards them give them the power over how we feel. But…
There’s a difference between the person and their actions – a person is not their behaviour.
The behaviour – the actions – are the outward appearance of the person. What is deep down inside, the essence of that person, is different from their actions. At some level, they are running the same kinds of auto-pilot mink eyelash extensions price that we do. At some level, they just want to be happy, just like us.
Everyone has been through tough experiences. Everyone has experienced pain. Everyone has experienced loss and sadness. And these experiences colour the way we think and the way we behave.
Deep down, most people (no matter how bad their behaviour) are just muddling their way through life, without much of an instruction manual. Their choices might be bad, but that doesn’t make them a bad person – any more than it would make you a bad person, when you make choices you later regret.
There is a difference between the actor and the actions.
Like actors in a play, what we show the outside world isn’t necessarily the truth of who we really are, but is a script – a series of behaviours – that can change.
When we remember that, we can set ourselves free from much of the pain. We create a space between their action and our mink eyelash extensions price, which can allow us to choose a response for the long-term higher good, rather than short-term retaliation.
All criticism is borne of someone else’s pain. ~ Native American saying
A happy person doesn’t do unkind things.
So if someone does something unkind to you, it’s likely to be because they’re feeling pretty bad, deep down inside. Lashing out and projecting that pain onto someone else may seem easier for them than facing and dealing with that pain.
So the next time you feel tempted to lash out and do or say something unkind to someone who has done or said something unkind to you, how about allowing yourself a moment to choose whether that’s what you really want?
Here’s a 60 second mindfulness technique that can help you to turn things around:
- Take 3 Mindful Breaths, breathing in through your nose and out with a tension-releasing ‘ahhh’ sound, to help you to relax in this moment and reconnect with your inner wisdom.
- Pause your Monkey Mind’s stories for a moment and ask yourself: “Is this really about me? Or is it something they’re feeling, deep inside?”
- Then, considering your intended response to them, ask yourself, “If I choose this thought / action, will it bring me peace or mink eyelash extensions price?”
- Let your body (not your very clever and crafty mind!) give you the answer.
This simple mindfulness technique gives you back your personal power and helps you to be less impacted by others’ actions. And it’s the key to cultivating compassion.
How did that technique feel for you? Did you notice the relief, as you work with mindfulness, to give yourself back the power to choose how to feel?
If you’d like to discover more about how mindfulness can change your life – in under 60 seconds – then you might enjoy the easy-to-learn, quick-to-use life-changing techniques in Clare’s best-selling book: 52 Mindful Moments.
And make sure you claim your copy of Clare’s Soul Sized Living Magazine, packed with the latest insider secrets, expert advice and life-changing articles, as well as subscriber-only goodies and competitions.
Brought to you, with love, from Clare Josa ~ Author, NLP Trainer, Meditation Teacher, Dedicated Happiness Experimenter